Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
