He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
