doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
