So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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