so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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