if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
