I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i came on her dog
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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