I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Say something about gay babies.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
