just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
