I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
