i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
