her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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