I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
