I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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