people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just forgot I was standing up.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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