You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
