so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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