So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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