I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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