i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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