just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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