I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
