So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
