I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
