Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm like, not good at living.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
