I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
