Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
