Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
