just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
