I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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