He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
