So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
