so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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