Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize