Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
