Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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