I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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