My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
