this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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