Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
