ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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