we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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