PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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