What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
