Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
