his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
