Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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