I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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