To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
porn star boner night. come get it.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize