What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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