I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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