Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
