Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
