my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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