I CAN MOONWALK!
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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