Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
