ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
All I want is dick and wine.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize