brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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