I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
