She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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