so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
