I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
operation have a gay friend backfired
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
