I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
