I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Everything about him screamed your future.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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