I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
