Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
