Dude my mom stole all your condoms
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
